


The Force Wills It

by Nervoustouch



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Obsessive Behavior, Short One Shot, Unconsciousness, Unplanned Pregnancy, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 16:04:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14918505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nervoustouch/pseuds/Nervoustouch
Summary: He could not wake her.She wouldn't understand.





	The Force Wills It

His dreams, his nightmares, they struck a chord. They stopped the sleep. They clogged his life like rocks in a slowly evaporating river. More and more he had to sedate himself to survive. Pill after pill, making him robotic and bland. Better for his staff that he’s medicated into an eternal twilight. This way he hadn't the emotion to berate them, he hadn't the energy to storm and slash. Lack of proper sleep combined with the missing Force bond left him feeling hollow.

He led soldiers to battle. He negotiated treaties he wrote endless messages and meetings. Everything pulled together like a machine. This part made the other part turn and so the power regenerated itself. 

Then the nightmares bled into his waking hours. 

He found his hands around the throat of a man before he knew why. Crushed the life out of his best navigator, and in front of every officer on the bridge. Not even using the Force, just his surging strength. He’d wrung until the open mouthed, purple face of his prey had come into focus, the sagging body pulling him over with its dead weight so he was made to crouch over, yet hands still squeezed. Black hair spiked with sweat had pricked at his eye-balls while the man’s last breath raked across his face.

He had thrown a table of people into the walls and smashed droids to jagged plastic shards. 

And now, more and more, he was left out of life. What life? As Supreme Leader he was segregated, left alone. His attempts to talk to people, just talk, not order or berate, fell flat. They were all understandably afraid. He had become the monster Rey had always taunted him with becoming. The other people, the ones who weren't being little rabbits, hiding in holes, wanted to undermine him. They wanted him to fail. Push him a little closer to the edge - and over. To take everything he’d built and twist it all. It was attack and kill or run and die.

His only redemption was the visit each day. 

He traced the edge of Rey’s stomach, a curve, a stretched, firm mound supported by a cocoon of pillows. The white clothed skin moved, like a limb slowly lifting and sliding under a sheet. It was a tiny hand, or foot, or knee. Palm pressed against the small bump, the baby moved. It paused and seemed to push back, or at least hover stretching. He wondered what it felt like for her. Something growing inside, something feeding and sleeping and pushing. Did she even know in her sleep?

“We should wake the patient,” the hovering medidroid advised. No human doctor would dare suggest this to him. They were all too scared, they were more rabbits behind glass, watching the robots do the work. 

“It is close, the birth time. Lying on the back is not comfortable in late pregnancy. She should get her strength back, move, stretch. Mother's should walk if possible. Mother's needed exercise and oxygen and preparation. She should eat and swallow and deficit lest her body suffer damage from letting machines control her basic functions.”

He could not wake her.

She wouldn't understand. 

The baby would be removed surgically, it was the only way they would both be safe, and healthy and alive. Then, only then, Rey would be rendered conscious. And he would be a father and she a mother.

With one hand still stretched out to his child he moved and held her hand in the other, interlaced their fingers, kissed her knuckles. Lips touched the little scars that scattered pink across ever whitening skin.

“Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away there was a beautiful queen.” His voice still sounded harsh, demanding. He tried again. “A queen who was elected by her people because she was so wise and loved, she was young, very young.” The hand on the stomach felt movement again, he paused, then inhaled. “One day she ah, she was travelling under the protection of a Jedi knight and his padawan as her planet, and all her people, were in great danger. The queen was seeking help for her world. She had many hand maidens and guards and other servants…”

He paused again, his head sagged down; maybe the baby didn't want to hear? It felt so odd to talk instead of order. He studied a row of black stitches on his sleeve. Then the way Rey’s fingernails were growing, they were long, no good for holding a lightsaber. Didn’t anyone ever cut them? Do babies have fingernails? His mind wandered.

“I have to go soon, if I stay, if I stay. Am I already hurting you? I need to see you. I think about you all the time and your mother. I'm sure she'll love you when you meet.” He swallowed. “I shouldn't have said that. I'm sure she loves you now. She was angry last time you heard her, angry at me, not you. We love you.”

He rubbed her belly, round and round his hand just barely brushing the undersides of her growing breasts as he circled.

It was the ritual, a kiss for baby and a kiss for Rey. But not on the lips, her feeding tube connected to her nose and a breathing tube covered her mouth. Dry lips taped shut so she wouldn’t lie open mouthed. Only her forehead was exposed so he kissed there, a lingering long goodbye. 

Then the mask was replaced, gloves pulled taunt, the lights dimmed and the droids flocked into the room like electronic sheep.

Time to pretend to sleep, only it was nothing but a false rest. Some night cycles he worried she would go into labor and he would be to overcome to get to her. He only took the least amount of pills possible but, as time went on, more and more were needed just to close his eyes, and he wanted to take more still. Just to get dreamless sleep. For once in how long?

In his bed he thought about them, only of them. In twelve days he would hold his child, if not sooner, and the doctors told him it was very rare for first children to be early. It was her first wasn't it? Truthfully he didn't know. Surely, he would have seen another baby in her past? He had been her first he had felt. Or at least she was inexperienced. Although, the discussion had never been spoken, they had said so little, just reacted. He realized this now. Mother's and father's should have planned better, but he hadn't been thinking about babies then. 

That was only one of their problems, he didn't think and she thought too much, and here they were.

He looked at the empty crib by his bed. White and small, picked out in sharp contrast to the rest of the dark room.

Had his grandparents, planned their babies? He'd always wondered. They had been married, and for years. Or so the family history went. Maybe they had planned? Maybe the man who would become Vader had wished, and hoped and tried, they had together wanted children? Maybe. Birth control seemed so ridiculously obvious, and yet, Skywalkers had a history of unplanned children. Wasn't even he, the Supreme Leader of the First Order, a surprise? His father had long ago let that sad fact slip.

His father.

Pressing palms into his eye sockets he let the flickering patterns form behind his eyelids. He begged the universe to send him a daughter. A strong girl like Rey, not a broken boy like him. Not someone else to be disappointed, to be pushed into some race to fix some unknown universal energy. Somehow, in his mind, he thought maybe a girl would be more forgiving, less susceptible to the pull of the dark and maybe, most important of all, more loved by Rey.

Because she didn’t love him. 

Even her clear hatred hadn’t stopped the Force though. A baby had to be made and a baby was conceived. Unlike Anakin’s conception, if the story had ever been true, their child wasn’t immaculate. At least he had that sad memory. 

The Force wills it.

He stared up into the darkness. The Force wills it and they better both live. 

Or he will destroy the Force.

**Author's Note:**

> Working on my other Reylo, but Ren keeps being obsessive and weird. Trying to get all his intrusive emotions out here in an alternative scenario. 
> 
> Now I am making him stand in the corner, facing the wall, until he calms down.
> 
> Thanks for reading


End file.
